Recently, I’ve been seeing versions of the ten-year challenge floating around again. We are coming to the end of a decade, after all, and it’s normal to want to look back over the past ten years at how your life has changed, and hopefully improved. Certainly, a lot has changed in my life: I moved multiple times within the Northern Virginia area, before buying a house that I lived in for more than six years. I held five different communication positions at three separate organizations, working my way up the career ladder. I made lots of friends, some of whom I’m still close to and others who have drifted away. I traveled, I learned, I grew as a person.

But I don’t have to go back ten years to pinpoint where the major changes in my professional and personal life began. It was approximately 3 ½ years ago that I launched my own business, almost 15 months ago that I became a new parent, and nearly a year ago that I relocated to Central Virginia. In honor of that, here are some surprising ways that owning a business where you’re the sole employee and raising a toddler are similar:

You never know if you’re making the right decision

This is a tough one for me. I am a believer in the “correct answer,” the “right choice,” and so on. It’s probably why I did well at school, but not nearly as effective in real life. Shortly before I went solo, I saw a YouTube clip of a TedTalk that captured the mental paralysis you can experience when you feel pressured to make the right decision, when there really is no such thing. I wish I’d bookmarked it, because I can now remember neither the speaker or the title, and I’d love to watch it again. Despite being unable to find it, I frequently remind myself of what the speaker said in efforts to quell my anxiety. There is no such thing as the right decision and you will feel better once you make a choice, whatever that decision might be.

When it comes to running your own business, every decision is a gamble. Whether deciding which clients to take on, how much to charge, how to market yourself, or any of a myriad of other business decisions – there isn’t a right answer. What works in one situation might not the next five times. You have to make the best decisions you can, learn from the results, and keep on moving. Which could also be a slogan for how I’m trying to approach parenting, another situation without set rules or answers.

You can’t be in control of everything

My toddler is very into saying no. He can only express a handful of words, and no is probably the most common one he uses. He has strong opinions about what he does and doesn’t want to do – that apple didn’t fall far from the tree! I am super sympathetic to the frustration he feels when he can’t control his environment, because I too would like everything to go according to my plan. I may want him to nap, because I know he’s going to be grouchy and tired if he doesn’t, but guess what? Despite my best efforts, sometimes he’s just not going to go along with it.

How does this relate to business? Your client hires you for your expertise, you analyze their efforts and lay out what you consider to be the best strategy, but sometimes they decide not to implement it. Ultimately, you can’t control the decisions someone else makes. So, for both my child and my clients, I’m working on learning how to offer my best guidance, create the optimal environment for success, roll with the punches, and relax.

It’s important to set boundaries

Children are incredibly self-centered, and that’s not a negative thing. They don’t yet know how to empathize with another person, they don’t understand the concept of time, and everything that happens is literally the best or worst thing of their life, because they have nothing to compare it to. I love my son more than anything in the world – and even that statement, dramatic as it is, doesn’t come close to encompassing the depth of my feelings for him. But sometimes I need him to leave me alone. I can’t be a good mom if I’m constantly on. Everyone needs a break; everyone needs time for self-care and to recharge. The same is true for your business. Setting boundaries with your clients about how and when you can be reached, the amount and type of work you can do for them, and how you expect to be treated improves both your mental health and your work product.

The guilt…oh, the guilt

While I know setting boundaries is important and the healthy choice, that doesn’t mean I’m immune to the guilt it causes. Mom guilt is oh, so real, and hits immediately after birth along with an absurd combo of physical pain, hormones, and panic. While most of that improves, the guilt has managed to hang around. And the same is true of my business. There’s an ongoing list in my head of all the actions I should be taking to build my business, have a better relationship with my clients, improve professionally, etc.  And I feel guilty for not acting on all of them, because what if that’s the one that makes the difference between success and failure. Even though I know I’m a better consultant, a better mom, and a better person if I have a balanced life, those “should-do’s” are rough.

Neither being a parent or a business owner is easy. With that being said, they’ve proven to be the best and most life-changing decisions I’ve made this decade. Here’s to the next ten years – I can’t wait to see what they will bring.